“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance!” Oscar Wilde
Marguerite Schultz • March 8, 2018
A Woman is Holding a Heart Made of Lights in Her Hands — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

It is said that one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is accept yourself just the way you are. It is also said that one of the bravest things you can do is stretch yourself and reach for your dreams. So which is it, self-acceptance or self-improvement? The truth is both. Psychologically speaking, if we are to improve ourselves and be happy and peaceful along the way, we have to learn to navigate the fine line between self-acceptance and self-improvement.

Everything we do (including all the “bettering” of our lovely selves) must come from a place of self-acceptance and love if it is to be of any real lasting benefit. No good ever came from beating ourselves into being better. In fact, pushing, criticising, and punishing are practices that leave us feeling empty, inferior and ultimately unmotivated, goal reached or not!If we are to ever make sustainable positive change and maintain a sense of fun and perspective along the way, the change must come from a place of unconditional love and positive regard for ourselves. From this healthy platform, change becomes fun and adventurous.

After all, there is no doubt that we can achieve goals through pure grit and determination. The problem is we are at risk of feeling empty and fatigued if sheer determination is not balanced with great big doses of creativity, fun and self-encouragement.

Here are Few Ideas to Keep Things in Balance

1. Remind yourself that you are worthy and wonderful, yes do this…. EVERY day!

2. Slow down and take in the beautiful things, they are always around us, besides, conquering the mountain is no fun if you miss the view, the flowers and the “lolly and water“ stops on the way up.

3. Have a grateful heart, be thankful to your body for carrying you around, your mind for giving you ideas, your spirit for giving you fuel and your soul for giving you the ability to make connections with people. These parts of you are functioning in the background all the time, so take the time to notice and say thank you.

4. Pace yourself. Self-improvement is a wonderful thing but must be paced. Sometimes asking if you would expect someone else to do the same thing for the same length of time, under the same circumstance can help you to gain perspective on how realistic you are being with yourself.

5. Finally, make sure your self-talk mimics that of a good friend “Good for you, going to the gym, making a sale, finishing an assignment”, “well done champion, you made a yummy dinner after a big day”, “great job sweetness, you got another load of washing done while the kiddies ate a sandwich, you are a rock star!”etc etc etc.

Think about some of the ways you can develop your own kindness and self -acceptance practices. You will be so glad you did!

Managing Fear and Avoidance

September 11, 2025
Avoidance, Fear, and Mental Health: Learning to Move Through, Not Around Avoidance is one of the most natural responses we have to fear and discomfort. When something feels threatening—whether it’s a difficult conversation, an overwhelming task, or a painful memory—our brains are wired to steer us away. In the short term, avoidance can feel like relief. But over time, it can quietly reinforce anxiety, limit growth, and contribute to the development or worsening of mental health conditions like depression, generalized anxiety, and PTSD. It becomes a cycle: the more we avoid, the more fearful and helpless we feel. A healthier relationship with fear begins by recognizing it not as a signal to retreat, but as a messenger. Fear often points to something meaningful—something we care about, or something that challenges our sense of safety or identity. In therapy, we work to create space between the fear and the action. This means noticing the fear without immediately acting on the urge to escape. When we approach our fear with curiosity instead of judgment, we can begin to take small, intentional steps toward what we’ve been avoiding. Cultivating this kind of relationship with fear is not about becoming fearless; it’s about learning that we can feel fear and still move forward. Exposure, mindfulness, and values-based action are just a few tools that help us shift from avoidance to engagement. With support and practice, we learn that growth often happens not in the absence of fear, but in our willingness to meet it with compassion and courage.
A Man and a Little Girl Are Sitting on a Couch — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

Does my child need therapy?

By Marguerite Schultz • June 15, 2024
We are often asked by concerned parents whether their child needs to see a Psychologist. Determining whether your child needs psychological support can depend on various factors.
A Woman is Sitting on a Couch Talking on a Video Call — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

The Benefits of Online Therapy

By Marguerite Schultz • July 29, 2021
What is lockdown stress? During times of elevated stress, it is important to take care of yourself in whatever way your can. Lockdown is one of those times.
A Man and a Boy Are Doing Push Ups Together in a Living Room — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erin

The Best Thing You Can Do to Feel Better

By Marguerite Schultz • July 18, 2021
Exercise is one of the best ways to improve your health and not just physically but mentally too. In fact, exercise is so good for the brain that it is fondly referred to as “Brain-ercise”.
A Woman Wearing Sunglasses is Smiling — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

Happy Mum’s Guide to Parenting

By Marguerite Schultz • July 16, 2021
Raising children can be stressful. Parenting is hard because parenting is not a one-size-fits-all job. You have to be continually learning, growing, and adapting as your kids grow and change.
Two Women Are Sitting on a Couch Talking to Each Other — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

What to Expect At Your First Psychology Visit

By Fotini Koklas • April 5, 2021
Going to see a Psychologist for the first time can feel really scary and nerve-wracking when you don’t know what to expect. Some of the things that my first-time clients say include things like: “I’m afraid I will be judged”, “I’m afraid you’ll think I’m broken or faulty or worse, maybe even unstable or crazy”, “I’m afraid of revisiting painful memories” and “I’m worried I will be expected to change when I’m not ready”.
A Picture of a DNA Structure — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

Resting in Certainty

By Marguerite Schultz • September 13, 2020
In times of uncertainty it can be so easy to feel like you are adrift on an ocean not sure which way is North …not a great feeling. In fact, I often say to clients that psychologically, living in the “unknown” is one of the hardest places to live.
A Picture of a Fence and a Splash of Paint — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

Black and White or Colour Your World ?

By Marguerite Schultz • September 11, 2020
Do you need to splash some colour around your life (be silly, have fun, get creative, bend a rule, let your inner child out for a play) or do your need more structure and order? The post Black and White or Colour Your World ? Appeared first on Living Well Psychology.
A Woman is Jumping in the Air — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

Get Your Stress to Work for You, Not Against You!

By Marguerite Schultz • March 6, 2019
Stress is part of daily life, no getting around it. However, what if you could use this guaranteed contribution to your day as a resource and set it to work for you? Like most things in life, our perception plays a monumental role in the outcome…
A Woman is Sitting on a Couch With Hand on Her Chin — Living Well Psychology Clinic in Erina, NSW

What is Anxiety?

By Marguerite Schultz • March 22, 2018
Everyone feels stress or worry from time and time. This level of worry will come and go and tends to by limited in its impact on our overall quality of life. Anxiety however doesn’t follow this pattern, and often permeates our thought lives, and can interfere significantly with our day to day choices and behaviours.
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