Blog and News - Living Well Psychology

Eat Happy

Sat, 11 Oct 2025 03:08:44 GMT

The “Antidepressant Diet”: What Science Says About Food and Mood

Can what you eat really influence your mood? According to research published in the World Journal of Psychiatry (LaChance & Ramsey, 2018), the answer is yes to a meaningful extent. The study set out to identify foods that are richest in nutrients known to support mental health. From a review of dozens of studies, researchers pinpointed 12 key nutrients that appear most linked to lower rates of depression and better emotional wellbeing.

The 12 “Antidepressant Nutrients”

These include folate, iron, long-chain omega-3 fatty acids (EPA & DHA), magnesium, potassium, selenium, thiamine (B1), vitamins A, B6, B12, C, and zinc. Each of these plays a role in brain health — from neurotransmitter function and inflammation control to energy metabolism.

Foods That Scored Highest

The researchers then created an Antidepressant Food Score (AFS) to rank foods by how nutrient-dense they are in those 12 areas.
Top-scoring foods included:

Seafood — especially oysters, mussels, and other bivalves
Organ meats — like liver and kidney
Leafy greens — spinach, kale, romaine
Cruciferous vegetables — broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower
Peppers, herbs, and citrus fruits - think watercress!

Interestingly, vegetables scored highest overall , followed by organ meats and seafood.

What This Means for Everyday Eating

The “antidepressant diet” isn’t a strict plan — it’s a guide toward eating in a way that supports your mental health.
You can put it into practice by:

Eating more colourful vegetables and leafy greens
Including fish or seafood several times per week
Getting a variety of nutrient-rich whole foods
Limiting ultra-processed and sugary foods

While diet alone is not the only thing that can influence depression, improving nutrition is one of the most accessible ways to support brain function and emotional wellbeing. We say dig into those oysters ... yum!

Managing Fear and Avoidance

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 22:36:07 GMT

Avoidance, Fear, and Mental Health: Learning to Move Through, Not Around

Avoidance is one of the most natural responses we have to fear and discomfort. When something feels threatening—whether it’s a difficult conversation, an overwhelming task, or a painful memory—our brains are wired to steer us away. In the short term, avoidance can feel like relief. But over time, it can quietly reinforce anxiety, limit growth, and contribute to the development or worsening of mental health conditions like depression, generalized anxiety, and PTSD. It becomes a cycle: the more we avoid, the more fearful and helpless we feel.

A healthier relationship with fear begins by recognizing it not as a signal to retreat, but as a messenger. Fear often points to something meaningful—something we care about, or something that challenges our sense of safety or identity. In therapy, we work to create space between the fear and the action. This means noticing the fear without immediately acting on the urge to escape. When we approach our fear with curiosity instead of judgment, we can begin to take small, intentional steps toward what we’ve been avoiding.

Cultivating this kind of relationship with fear is not about becoming fearless; it’s about learning that we can feel fear and still move forward. Exposure, mindfulness, and values-based action are just a few tools that help us shift from avoidance to engagement. With support and practice, we learn that growth often happens not in the absence of fear, but in our willingness to meet it with compassion and courage.

Does my child need therapy?

Sat, 15 Jun 2024 06:50:00 GMT

We are often asked by concerned parents whether their child needs to see a Psychologist. Determining whether your child needs psychological support can depend on various factors. Here are some signs that might indicate that therapy could be beneficial:

Persistent Behavioural Issues : If your child consistently displays disruptive or aggressive behaviours that interfere with daily life and relationships.
Emotional Distress : If your child seems excessively sad, anxious, or withdrawn, especially if these emotions persist over time and periods of being dysregulated or overwhelmed seem to be frequent or extended.
Difficulty Coping : If your child has trouble coping with stress, changes in routine, or transitions.
Academic or Social Struggles : If there’s a noticeable decline in academic performance or difficulty making or maintaining friendships.
Traumatic Experience : If your child has experienced a significant trauma, such as any form of abuse, loss of a loved one, or a major life change, processing the thoughts and emotions associated with this time or event can be very beneficial for them.
Physical Symptoms : Sometimes psychological distress can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches without a clear medical cause.
Regression : If your child starts behaving in ways that are younger than their age (e.g., bed-wetting after being toilet-trained).

If you notice these signs or if you have concerns about your child’s well-being, it may be helpful to do a one-off consult with a qualified mental health professional who can help determine with you whether therapy would be a beneficial option for your child. This collaborative approach with a psychologist can be a wise and conservative approach to either settle your concerns or look at a plan together for moving forward with supportive therapy.

Marguerite Schultz, Senior Clinical Psychologist and Clinic Director.

The Benefits of Online Therapy

Thu, 29 Jul 2021 03:42:00 GMT

What is lockdown stress?

During times of elevated stress, it is important to take care of yourself in whatever way your can. Lockdown is one of those times. Some reasons for greater stress are obvious, but one you may not be aware of is what happens to your body and brain. When you are in lockdown and masked up when you’re out, your nervous system is getting non stop reminders that things are “not how they should be”. This registers in your brain in a similar way to on ongoing dull alarm, registering that there is trouble. This in turn keeps your stress system switched on. If we are to enter rest and give ourselves a break from this stress response, we need to exercise the best self care and ensure that additional stressors are not left unprocessed.

With so many things on hold at the moment, we want you to know that your mental health doesn’t have to be, in fact we are here to help you to keep it a top priority.

How do I protect my mental health?

Gone are the days when there was only one option for mental health support, by visiting a therapist in person. Nowadays, with the introduction of online therapy, you can speak to a qualified psychologist at a time and venue that suits. The support you need is literally at your fingertips from your desk or couch. The work is the same and the psychology intervention looks the same but the mechanism is via phone or video interface.

The outcomes in therapy have been shown to be the same whether face to face or not, and it’s important to know that the power of therapy does not lie in the forum but rather in the actual therapy. Some of the advantages of online psychotherapy include being able to access care from the safety of your own home, without needing to leave your local area, spending your time more efficiently and the added bonus of doing therapy from your favourite couch! For many people online therapy has become their treatment of choice because of these efficiencies; you still get the expert support you need and you can still put in the work of looking after your mental health, but you get to do so from the comfort and safety of your own home, removing any stressors linked with being out and about in an uncertain time.

What do other people say?

One client allows us to share “The first few times I literally pretended that the person on the other end was really there with me in the room. Before long, it felt normal and the therapy carried on just as well as it had before”

Another client shared “I was surprised that after several months of seeing my psychologist in person, I was able to talk about something I had never been able to speak about before. I think it just felt a little safer to be in my home on the phone and I found the words just came out as I was not looking at anyone sitting opposite me. I was surprised by how much it really helped me”

There are many other stories of people who have transitioned well to a different platform and have enjoyed the ongoing benefits of a strong therapeutic relationship.

What if I am nervous to try something new?

We understand that as with many things, change is not always easy and seldom initially comfortable. We are therefore here to encourage you to be brave enough to give it a go if you have not yet, to trust yourself to pivot with us while we support you in a slightly different way. This is the (temporary) new normal and we will do it together while still staying connected.

Will it affect my budget?

In Australia we are very fortunate in that co-payers also see the value of online therapy and bodies like Medicare, most private health companies and most third parties both allow and encourage online therapy with no change in the amount they co-fund. If you have any questions or concerns about online therapy and need more info, please contact us at aron.salim@personiv.com . We are here to help.

The Best Thing You Can Do to Feel Better

Sun, 18 Jul 2021 05:29:00 GMT

Exercise is one of the best ways to improve your health and not just physically but mentally too. In fact, exercise is so good for the brain that it is fondly referred to as “Brain-ercise”. Some of the benefits of exercise include decreasing stress, anxiety, and depression, helping you sleep better and keeping your mind sharp by creating new neural pathways and promoting energy creation.

The brain is one of the most important organs in your body, controlling everything from breathing to movement. And when you exercise, you brain thanks you by being more efficient in these jobs! Exercise also has positive effects on your mood and mental health. Studies have shown that regular exercisers are less likely to suffer from stress, depression and anxiety.

Exercise even has beneficial effects on the brain’s structure, for instant the hippocampus (important for memory) and the cerebellum (responsible for motor control). Exercise also stimulates neurogenesis – the birth of new brain cells as well as strengthens existing connections between neurons, speeding up how quickly messages are sent back and forth between parts of your brain. These changes are what lead to improved memory, better mood and less stress! If that is not enough, people who exercise have far healthier mitochondria. These little guys are the energy suppliers of the body. As such, they are essential for life. Mitochondria provide most of the cell’s ATP (adenosine triphosphate), which is used to power processes in our cells. So far, that is a lot of bang for your buck, from healthier brain structures, to better energy production, to more stable moods. Now lets look at sleep and reactivity to stress.

Exercise and sleep have a very close relationship. Exercise is known to help us fall asleep more quickly in addition to improving overall sleep quality. This is done via a few mechanisms. Firstly, through boosting melatonin (a hormone that plays a role in regulating the body’s sleep-wake cycles) in the blood stream. Secondly physical activity helps to reduce stress, which can be a huge factor in poor sleeping habits. The endorphins released during exercise help regulate how we feel and we are able to go to bed more “emotionally processed”. Exercise is also great for getting rid of all that pent-up frustration we often keep to ourselves – the kind that we sometimes redirect into tossing and turning around at night.

Finally, exercise plays a vital role in mitigating stress, which is a big plus considering that chronic stress can lead to all sorts of serious health problems. When you exercise, your body releases a compound known as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which increases the production of new cells in your brain. This is especially important since stress can be a huge factor in slowing down both neurogenesis (the development of new neurons) and connections between our nerve cells. Exercise also helps us fight off stress by raising levels of certain neurotransmitters, particularly dopamine and serotonin , great for a sense of wellbeing and mood regulation. Lastly exercise reduces cortisol , the stress hormone.

The benefits of exercise are undeniable. If you are new to moving your body regularly, here are 8 ideas to get you started.

Start slow and easy – this builds success in. Give yourself time to build up to your end goal. Exercise is meant to be enjoyable so make sure it’s achievable so that you can enjoy yourself and feel proud.

Know your limits – If you don’t know where to start, let someone assess your current fitness level and make recommendations.
Find something fun – One of the best ways to continue doing what you are doing is to have fun. It’s hard work, everybody knows that. If you don’t enjoy it however then you will tend to lose motivation and quit, but if you do enjoy something it’ll become a habit more easily.
Remember why – Don’t forget the reason that got you started. Was it to lose weight? Was it for longevity? If you’re struggling then remind yourself of why you started.
Be Patient – Rome wasn’t built in a day so don’t expect to be in tip-top shape today. Be patient with yourself.
Buddy up – Finding someone else who is doing what you’re doing or trying to do it can help tremendously as a way to keep yourself motivated and focused.
Routine – When it comes to your health and fitness, having a routine that you can fall back on when motivation dips is important
Have Fun – If you’re not having fun with your exercise, you are less likely to keep at it. Pick the style of exercise that you find enjoyable.

Remember, it doesn’t matter where you are starting. Every day gives you the chance to build the life you want and prioritising exercise is a wonderful gift to give yourself.

Happy Mum’s Guide to Parenting

Fri, 16 Jul 2021 05:50:00 GMT

Raising children can be stressful. Parenting is hard because it’s is not a one-size-fits-all job. You have to be continually learning, growing, and adapting as your kids grow and change. It can be difficult to juggle the responsibility of parenting with everything else you’re already doing – like work, sleep, socializing, cleaning the house, cooking meals, managing kids sport and more.

You also have to try to balance being a parent with being yourself. This means learning to be present and all in when it’s time for the kiddos but also finding a way to be present and all in for yourself so that you are actualising as a person. Getting this balance right is the greatest privilege and the hardest job!

“It takes a village to raise a child ,” goes the saying. There is a lot of truth to this old adage. As parents, you know your child best and are most qualified to guide them through the formative years, but that doesn’t mean you can or should single handedly manage all aspects of their growth and development. Its a big job and it comes with a fair amount of stress. And its okay to own this without guilt or shame. Parenting is hard. If there is support going, we need to allow ourselves to grab it with both hands.

Parenting support comes in all shapes and sizes – from a friend dropping in a meal when you have been unwell, to the occasional babysitter who mans the fort so you can go out with friends. It boils down to this – we all need support and help when we need it. Again, no guilt, no shame. That’s just life. It makes us better parents and better people if we allow that support to come in, rather than soldiering on stoically to prove something to ourselves or someone else.

Balancing self care and great parenting is an art and it only works with good support and great tools. Personally, I am on a mission to help parents find the joy in being in balance, of holding down the dual roles of “great parent” and “happy growing human”.

Where things can go wrong in this balance is that when we are overwhelmed, or guilty for not doing enough or fearful of what comes next, it can make parenthood feel like pressure and stress instead of fun. Im passionate to help people learn that when we embrace ourselves just as much as our children do – that guilt turns into freedom, the fear becomes hope and the overwhelm turns from pain into pleasure!

You need to find ways to rise above the self limiting beliefs and the stuckness of the daily grind. Do anything you can to find these pathways to freedom. Authors like Maggie Dent, Ross Green and Daniel Siegel have written life changing books on parenting, authors like Brene Brown and Kristen Neff have written amazing pieces on the joy of self care and being you. Read resources like this and aim for balance. That includes self care for mum dad and carer too!

Warmly, Marguerite

What to Expect At Your First Psychology Visit

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 03:40:00 GMT

Going to see a Psychologist for the first time can feel really scary and nerve-wracking when you don’t know what to expect. Some of the things that my first-time clients say include things like: “I’m afraid I will be judged”, “I’m afraid you’ll think I’m broken or faulty or worse, maybe even unstable or crazy”, “I’m afraid of revisiting painful memories” and “I’m worried I will be expected to change when I’m not ready”. Let’s talk about what to expect in the the first session of therapy so that you can reduce the fear of the unknown!

First things first: It’s normal and natural to feel nervous, uncertain or unsure in any new situation, especially the first time you are meeting a Psychologist – who is essentially a stranger and you are there to “spill your guts to them”. It definitely takes a lot of courage to do that, and if you’ve reached out and booked an appointment already, you’ve done the hardest part! That is evidence that you are braver than you think.

Secondly, at your first session, your Psychologist will go through the process of what you can expect from your session and from treatment. They will most likely reassure you that it’s totally normal to feel nervous (most people do and it’s okay), and that this is a safe space for you to be yourself without judgement. Taking care of your mental health is an essential part of your wellbeing and it doesn’t mean you’re “faulty”. It most likely means you are here because you feel stressed, overwhelmed, tired, foggy, vulnerable, low or stuck, but definitely not faulty!

Your Psychologist won’t expect you to revisit painful or traumatic memories in your first session and you will only do so in subsequent sessions if you both agree that this is a good step forwards. The first session is mostly an information-taking session, where your Psychologist will be asking you questions and collecting information about your history. They are likely to ask you about your symptoms, health problems, family and relationships, your work or study and anything that you think is important for them to know about you – this may include traumatic events from the past or more recent present, but you don’t have to “go into it”. You can let your Psychologist know “there is stuff there” and your Psychologist will take that into account when they are putting together your treatment plan. Of course, if you feel like you really want to tell you Psychologist about something that has happened to get it off your chest upfront, then that is fine too, it’s up to you.

It’s important to keep in mind that you will not be pressured or expected to change if you are not ready, and certainly not in your first session! Your Psychologist may make suggestions in that first session that you may find helpful, however readiness to change can take time and unless you are in a situation that puts you at risk or in danger, your Psychologist will work with you over time to prepare you for any changes that you would like to make.

Lastly, please remember that Psychologists are people too! So just like in any other life situation, sometimes people “gel” or “click” and sometimes they don’t. And that’s okay, it’s totally a human thing. You will definitely have a sense of this at your first appointment, and if this comes up for you and you feel like you don’t click with your Psychologist, I encourage you to let them know. They won’t take it personally. Psychologists understand this and that for therapy to be effective, you need to feel comfortable so you can be yourself and get the most out of your sessions. Your Psychologist will talk you through it and together you can come with options for the most suitable plan for you. Hopefully this puts your mind at ease a little, and you feel less nervous about going to your first appointment with a Psychologist.

Yours in mental health, Fotini.

Resting in Certainty

Sun, 13 Sep 2020 23:46:00 GMT

In times of uncertainty it can be so easy to feel like you are adrift on an ocean not sure which way is North …not a great feeling. In fact, I often say to clients that psychologically, living in the “unknown” is one of the hardest places to live. We can usually face any stress that we can quantify because we know the cost, we know the resources that will be needed, we know the time frame that it will use etc etc. Not so with the unknown, we tend to have to free fall a bit which is highly uncomfortable.

What I want to encourage you to remember today if you feel lost in overwhelm, is that just because you cant see structure, does not mean that it isn’t around and in you in some way, shape of form. In fact, structure is ALL around you, there is a deep sense of continuity and routine built into most things you can perceive and many that you can’t.

For instance, while you are reading, this, your brain is formulating one of the 60 – 90 000 thoughts you will have today, your body is creating new cells, your hair is growing, the tectonic plates of the earth are growing at the speed of a fingernail. It’s all happening, without our permission or consent, good stuff is happening all around us as well as the scary stuff that can feel so big.

Focus today on the constants that are good, the sun rose, it will set, birds will nest, frogs will hop, and it will happen again the next day and again the day after that. This structure can be very comforting if you allow it to float through your consciousness. Enjoy leaning into some security today, there is actually a lot of it around us if we take a look at our body and earth’s natural sense of order and structure.

As always, have a lovely day, floating through uncertainty and anchoring in the known!

Black and White or Colour Your World ?

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 07:17:00 GMT

Hey lovely ones…. there is so much room in our lives for good solid reliable dependable black and white zones. Clear boundaries, good assertiveness, internal rules to live by, these are all examples of great black and white zones. However, there are also areas in our lives that may be a little too black and white and might need a splash of colour, am I right ? I am an inner child girl at heart and love the Zest that colour brings. … to be honest, I need to bring a little more black and white into my daily routine usually, rather than the other way around. Where do you sit on the black and white versus the colour zones in your life? Do you need to splash some colour around your life (be silly, have fun, get creative, bend a rule, let your inner child out for a play) Take a look at these two images and do a little check in on whether there is balance in your life at the moment, do you need more of the black and white guideline zones or more of the colour splashes at the moment?

The post Black and White or Colour Your World ? appeared first on Living Well Psychology .

Get Your Stress to Work for You, Not Against You!

Wed, 06 Mar 2019 09:29:00 GMT

Stress is part of daily life, no getting around it.

However, what if you could use this guaranteed contribution to your day as a resource and set it to work for you?

Like most things in life, our perception plays a monumental role in the outcome… no different from our perception of stress. You see, the body experiences many of the same arousal cues from stress as it does from excitement or exhilaration. Both arousal states, for instance, produce an increase in heart rate and cortisol levels and a “readiness for action.” What if you could legitimately reframe your body’s stress cues as cues of anticipation, excitement, exhilaration or readiness to rise to the challenges ahead of you? What if you could start your day by expecting and welcoming challenge rather than dreading stress?

Denying stress is not possible and avoiding it is not feasible. (Life on an island with no bills and cocktails would become pretty boring after five years believe it or not because we thrive on challenge and opportunity.)

In a study conducted by Harvard Medical School, stress responses were measured and an alternate response was identified. It is aptly dubbed the “challenge-response” and essentially involves reframing stressful situations as “challenges to be overcome.” If we learn to interpret the body’s arousal cues as simply priming us with “readiness to overcome,” we will no longer respond as if we are under attack. In this particular study when participants believed that their stress response actually allowed them to perform better, the stress they were subjected to did not affect them negatively. In fact, it fuelled them to approach the task at hand with confidence. In other words, simply believing that stress was not harmful and that they had the resources to overcome allowed them to overcome! The ability to improve our cognitive and emotional states with perception is impressive, but the really amazing part of all of this is that we can actually influence our physical health with our appraisal of stress. Perception of stress actually has an effect on our cardiovascular systems. In a classic stress response, our blood vessels constrict and our bodies prepare for inflammation. In a challenge-response, our bodies literally respond in the opposite fashion, with our blood vessels remaining open and encouraging good blood flow. Believe in the power of the mind on the body yet?

So to summarize this game-changer, if we believe that we can cope with our stressors, we are likely to naturally fall into the challenge response. However, if we believe that our stress is greater than our capacity to cope, we will likely fall into trouble physiologically, by activating the sympathetic-adrenal- medullary (SAM) axis which switches on when we believe we are under threat. Can you see how important it is to harness your interpretation of body arousal cues swiftly and intentionally before they trigger a threat response? A fast reframe can literally change everything! Remember that there are alternate responses to the classic “fight-flight-freeze or appease,” and we can make stress work for us by the correct appraisal, thereby turning a threat response into an energizing one.

So what do you need to do to make stress your ally? According to well-renowned stress researcher Kelly McGongigal, it is as simple as changing your mindset and perception of stress and Id like to leave you with a few ideas on how to go about this.

Change your self talk . Think about this. You are about to deliver a speech, a cake, a presentation, an assignment, a spreadsheet (you get the idea). You notice your heart rate is elevated and your palms are sweaty. Your breathing is a little shallow, and your self-talk goes something like this, “I am so stressed, I hate handing things in. What if this isn’t good enough, I can’t cope with this stress any longer”. Sound familiar? The reframe I am suggesting from your newly acquired healthy self-talk would sound something like this, “I must be doing something that I value because my body is showing me that I really care about the outcome. Aren’t I fortunate to be doing something I love, something that adds meaning to my life? My body is primed to cope with whatever response is coming my way and I will manage it well, thank you body! I will invest in some great self-care later today for being courageous and coping with the very common discomfort of having my work appraised. I have done really well here.” Reframed this way, you are able to thank your body for this alert and reminder of your values and from a place of better self-acceptance and self-understanding, you can treat yourself with kindness and not catastrophize the arousal response.
Make sure your interpretation filters are accurate, healthy and positive . You have an abundance of inbuilt resources purposed for facing, processing and overcoming stress. You actually do have what it takes!
Get comfortable with acceptance . Recognize that stress is normal and avoiding it doesn’t work, embracing it and managing it puts you in the driver’s seat. Normalize your body’s responses. If your heart rate is elevated, it is just getting you ready to conquer the challenge. If your breathing is faster, all good, all that extra oxygen to your brain will help you produce clear focused thoughts. Sweaty palms, no sweat, choose to harness this vulnerability to make a meaningful connection rather than going into defense and isolation. In other words, welcome stress. I regularly talk to clients about normalizing stress with an approach that sounds like: “Today I am ready to put out at least 10 fires, I will expect them, normalize them and respond positively to each one ” This way when your child remembers they have a project due as you are getting into the car, or when the traffic piles up as your meeting is due to start, you don’t get blindsided but rather you respond with a cool “I’ve got this, I will employ my coping resources and manage this arousal alert positively. Fire number one is under my belt, only nine more to go” This not only normalizes stress but allows you to view it with humour and creativity.
Allow excessive stress to be your permission slip for matching self-care . Some stress cues point to very difficult and burdening realities, for instance having a child who is ill or having a financial crisis to overcome. Most stress can be reframed in a more helpful way than the classic fight flight freeze or appease response but for those stressors that have really stopped you in your tracks, making space for them and in equal measure is paramount. When you are required to navigate significant stress, consistent, and nurture is essential to keep your tank replenished.

I trust that this article will inspire you to think intentionally about how you are appraising daily stress and as a consequence whether stress is building your self-efficacy or breaking your confidence and robbing your joy. Enjoy trialling the challenge reframe; I can guarantee it will increase your quality of life.

If you find it difficult to manage your stress or if you need assistance with processing a specific stressor, engaging a professional can be very helpful. At Living Well Psychology Clinic we value the privilege of working with clients who are doing just this, and reaching out is a phone call or email away!

What is Anxiety?

Thu, 22 Mar 2018 09:28:00 GMT

Everyone feels stress or worry from time and time. This level of worry will come and go and tends to by limited in its impact on our overall quality of life. Anxiety however doesn’t follow this pattern, and often permeates our thought lives, and can interfere significantly with our day to day choices and behaviours.

So, What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is actually fairly common (it is one of the leading mental health conditions in Australia) and it presents in many ways including social anxiety, phobias, generalised anxiety and panic disorder. It is also experienced in conditions such as obsessive compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. Anxiety is multi factorial in its origins and each person’s unique story will hold information about the origins and maintaining factors of their anxiety experience.

The way we respond to anxiety is important because unhelpful management responses can actually serve to worsen the condition. Some unhelpful responses include choosing to always remain in what we call “ the safe zone”. Here, we choose to live in a way that helps us to avoid any anxiety triggers, the problem being that this does not actually address the anxiety itself and avoidance can spread to the point that we avoid people, avoid places, avoid risk, avoid disappointment, avoid intimacy, the list goes on. In addition, whilst we may feel safe, this often comes at the cost of also feeling isolated, unseen and alone. Other unproductive ways of coping with anxiety may include self-medicating with things like food, television, social media, shopping etc, or numbing our sensations and fears with substances such as alcohol or drugs. Anxiety left untreated or managed with unhelpful interventions such as these will tend to remain exactly as it is or even worse, grow.

How can psychology help?

Professionals who are trained in the treatment and management of anxiety can help by firstly doing an “anxiety map”. This includes mapping out the likely origins, underlying thought patterns, and exacerbating and maintaining factors in a person’s unique experience of anxiety. From there, clinician and client can together start to make small, ongoing, steady changes by using evidence based tools to move away from the disruptive impact of anxiety. These changes may initially be challenging and this is where working with a supportive and caring professional can go a long way towards attaining the freedom from anxiety that they deserve!

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance!” Oscar Wilde

Thu, 08 Mar 2018 09:24:00 GMT

It is said that one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is accept yourself just the way you are. It is also said that one of the bravest things you can do is stretch yourself and reach for your dreams. So which is it, self-acceptance or self-improvement? The truth is both. Psychologically speaking, if we are to improve ourselves and be happy and peaceful along the way, we have to learn to navigate the fine line between self-acceptance and self-improvement.

Everything we do (including all the “bettering” of our lovely selves) must come from a place of self-acceptance and love if it is to be of any real lasting benefit. No good ever came from beating ourselves into being better. In fact, pushing, criticising, and punishing are practices that leave us feeling empty, inferior and ultimately unmotivated, goal reached or not!If we are to ever make sustainable positive change and maintain a sense of fun and perspective along the way, the change must come from a place of unconditional love and positive regard for ourselves. From this healthy platform, change becomes fun and adventurous.

After all, there is no doubt that we can achieve goals through pure grit and determination. The problem is we are at risk of feeling empty and fatigued if sheer determination is not balanced with great big doses of creativity, fun and self-encouragement.

Here are Few Ideas to Keep Things in Balance

Remind yourself that you are worthy and wonderful, yes do this…. EVERY day!
Slow down and take in the beautiful things, they are always around us, besides, conquering the mountain is no fun if you miss the view, the flowers and the “lolly and water“ stops on the way up.
Have a grateful heart, be thankful to your body for carrying you around, your mind for giving you ideas, your spirit for giving you fuel and your soul for giving you the ability to make connections with people. These parts of you are functioning in the background all the time, so take the time to notice and say thank you.
Pace yourself. Self-improvement is a wonderful thing but must be paced. Sometimes asking if you would expect someone else to do the same thing for the same length of time, under the same circumstance can help you to gain perspective on how realistic you are being with yourself.
Finally, make sure your self-talk mimics that of a good friend “Good for you, going to the gym, making a sale, finishing an assignment”, “well done champion, you made a yummy dinner after a big day”, “great job sweetness, you got another load of washing done while the kiddies ate a sandwich, you are a rock star!”etc etc etc.

Think about some of the ways you can develop your own kindness and self -acceptance practices. You will be so glad you did!

What is relationship counselling?

Wed, 07 Mar 2018 21:55:00 GMT

A relationship can exist in many shapes and forms and across a lifetime, they will thread us into multiple connections with other people. These attachments are vital because they create a sense of belonging and connection which improves our sense of self and adds meaning to our lives. Relationships are also vital because they offer us a forum to be, to express our thoughts, our feelings, our behaviours, our very essence and also provide us with a place to be loved, to grow, to be witnessed, to be reassured, nurtured and encouraged. It stands to reason that taking care of our relationships is essential to our wellbeing and it is easy to see how painful it can be when our relationships become pressured, distant, damaged or distressed.

Relationship counselling is delivered in many contexts and can be seen as an umbrella term which encompasses all forms of connection including for instance, attachment in the parent child relationship, intimacy in the significant other relationship, or role changing in the workplace relationship.

When a relationship has faced disruption in some way, be that through life changes, developmental shifts or any other form of pressure or stress, relationship counselling can offer practical assistance in helping people to understand and address the problems that have caused pain, misunderstanding, distress or stuckness. From a place of understanding and insight, professional help can assist people to reset and find their way back to healthy connection via practical tools tailor-made for each relationship situation. At the end of the day, we all deserve to be in healthy, uplifting, edifying relationships and if this is not our relationship reality, then it is time to prioritise change and growth so that we can once again thrive in our sense of connection and belonging!